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| When your child: | ||
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| BITES | CAN’T FALL ASLEEP | HURTS YOU OR OTHERS |
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| It may mean your child: | ||
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| Is still trying to put everything in his mouth (toddler). | Does not feel sleepy. | Is too young to understand. |
| Is teething and needs objects or harder foods to chew on (toddler). | Feels afraid. | Is inexperienced, angry or troubled. |
| Is using biting instead of words to communicate (toddler). | Does not feel comfortable. | |
| Does not understand that biting hurts (toddler). | Wants attention. | |
| Feels frustrated and has not developed other, more positive coping skills (pre-schooler). | Is interested in other things. | |
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| So do not: | ||
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| Bite your child back. | Completely darken the room. | Get angry, punish or hurt your child. |
| Encourage another child to bite your child. | Reward or bribe your child. Threaten your child. | Make your child feel badly by shaming, ignoring or withdrawing your love. |
| Make your child bite soap. | Scold or punish your child. Put your child to bed as punishment. | |
| Tie or restrain your child. | ||
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| You might try: | ||
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| Providing close supervision of the biter and being ready to step in to protect other children. | Avoiding over-stimulation near bed time. | Attending to the hurt child first and involving the child who did the hurting in the comforting. |
| Comforting the victim first. Tell the biter that biting hurts. Involve the biter in comforting the victim by bringing a cool, wet towel to put on the bite. | Reading, singing or playing with your child before bed. Playing soft background music. | Observing when it happens, how often it happens, who is hurt and what happened before the hurting. |
| Providing an object to bite, such as a pillow or chewy toy. | Seeing that your child’s needs are met before going to bed. | Quietly separating the children. |
| Observing when your child bites, who the victim is, and your child’s reaction after biting. | Tucking your child in bed with affection. | Diverting their attention. |
| Helping your child to use words to cope with frustration. | Allowing your child to look at books or play with quiet toys. | Taking the hurting objects away, calmly and firmly. |
| Thinking about your time schedule, equipment, activities and guidance techniques. Are they creating or reducing stress for the children? | Offering assurance that you will wake the child up (before snack, when the others wake first or whatever is important). | Beginning to teach your child that hurting is not something to do. |
| Putting your child back to bed kindly but firmly. | ||
| Planning quiet activities for your child as he wakes up so he doesn’t just lie on the bed. | ||
Permission to reproduce granted by Child Action, Inc.